Monday Again

It was the last Monday of the second month of a new year and the woman had woken to a sense of purpose. On some levels, it was hard to believe that the time was moving so fast. She had read years ago that it is when we are happy that time is swift and when we are miserable that time drags. This made a lot of sense to her as someone who had long struggled with periods of depression. When all of life seemed so heavy and slow and exhausting, she would just want it to be over. Not in a dramatic, suicidal way thankfully but rather, just a deep exhaustion that felt it would be nice sometimes to just stop.

Today however, she did not feel exhausted. The weekend had been pleasant enough and she had enjoyed time at home pottering about in her never ending quest to bring some order to the self made chaos of her life. Overall, she thought she'd done quite well and she checked in once more with her internal deadline. She wanted it all done by the end of the month because this marked a particular time 20 years ago. She had long since realised that though she strove to be 'present' in her day to day life, she also spent quite a lot of time looking back, especially since having MS.

It wasn't that she wanted to live in the past as such, although, looking around at modern life, she could perhaps have done with being able to return to simpler times. No, it was more that she wanted to understand her past so that it might inform something of her future. She wanted to learn from the many, many mistakes she felt she had made so that, by the end of life, whenever that might be, she wouldn't be left with regrets.

Of course, that was a big ask and certainly a lot to think about first thing on a Monday when spring hadn't quite sprung and the country was likely still digesting what had happened the previous week. Despite her best efforts to ignore the outside world and create a haven of harmony within, it was hard not to see the trajectory of a country that had been brought to its moral knees by years of austerity, covid, corruption and general governmental cruelty. It really was a lot and the debacle in Parliament was perhaps the final straw. No one knew what to believe.

She thought about her friends, getting ready for their day. She had the widest range of friends and it was the aspect of her life that she was most content with. She hadn't managed to quite get a grip on her finances, her house remained a constant challenge between a desire for clarity and a lifetime of clutter and her health was a constant conundrum. Her friendships however, were a constant source of delight and what she loved most was how very different they all were. Once again, it was the market in the Mall that had mixed it all up.

This morning, some friends would be getting ready for school, either as Headteachers or Learning Mentors with a couple of science teachers in between. Another would be preparing to undertake an Ofsted inspection whilst others would be opening up their shops and getting their wares ready for a days trading. Others would be battling the school run traffic and there were a couple who didn't need to worry about commuting because they were still working from home.

She had a friend spending time with a sister as their mother's life slowed right down and another who had left his marriage for all the right reasons and yet still held a broken heart. She had a friend who was navigating a new way to be a family man and another who wasn't quite sure what had happened to his life.

She was concerned about the young ones who were embarking on lives that the elders simply didn't recognise and she was wondered what would be the way for them all. She was concerned about her older friends who probably could do with retiring but couldn't afford to in the new world order and she was concerned about friends who had long term illnesses who she hadn't spoken to in a while.

It was a day to clear up and connect she thought. It's all very well sitting here, tapping away at a keyboard with your morning thoughts but will it get the Revolution revving? She smiled because that's where she always seemed to be hanging about in her head. Revolution. Not the taking to the streets and shouting and calling for heads kind of revolution. Rather, the quiet revolution of collective agreement. She knew that everyone agreed that it was health, happiness, love and laughter for all that mattered and it was this that guided her. Hahahala. A mood, a mindset, a moment. It was a way of life for everyone and though it felt as if she were starting life all over again, it seemed the only way. Now she just needed to let the world know. Love really was the only answer.